Work, New Cat, Temple Pictures, Garden, and Moving.

Work

I've been busy with work lately, which is a good thing.  A man in northern Utah asked me to manage his house for him.  He's moving out of the country.  Then, another man who has eight apartments and lives out-of-state asked me to manage for him too.  So, this month I've spent a lot of time showing vacancies lately, and also responding to maintenance issues at the apartments.  I've actually been busy enough that I haven't been doing any more marketing, although I plan to pick up with that again soon.

Jeff is back to work, too.  He has been for a little while now.  He did get multiple job offers again, but one of the jobs offered higher pay and really good benefits, so he accepted that one.  It's with a company that most people have heard of.  Jeff doesn't really like the job very much, because it's taking a long time for him to actually get started doing programming, and he is bored.  That should improve over time, though.  He keeps finding out about new benefits--we already knew our health care would pretty much be free, but on the first day of work he found out they were going to give him an iPhone--and pay for his service.  (Cool!  Although Jeff is kind of disappointed because he really likes his Droid.)  Then, Jeff offered to work later hours so that he can work some hours with the Australians that are on his team...so the company gave him a credit card and said they will pay for his dinner every day.  Nice!

New Cat

I brought home a new cat.  I was showing the home that I'm managing to some prospective renters and I asked if they had any pets.  (The owner allows up to two, with pet rent.)  They said no--well, they do--they have cats--but they're getting rid of them.  "Oh," I said,  "Are they good at catching mice?"  I explained that we've looked for a mouser before, but people always list cats online saying they would be good at catching mice, or saying they would grow up to be good at catching mice, but I want a cat that already catches mice. 

They said, "Actually, they are!"

So we talked some more about it, and after I showed them the rental home, they invited me back to their house.  I met two of their cats, and decided to take the one who had more of a history of catching mice.  Her name is Kitty, she is 17 years old, and she has long fur that started getting ratty a few months ago.  She is sometimes really friendly and sometimes really aggressive.  Perfect.

So I brought her home, and let her out in the barn, and then I didn't see her again.

Jeff thought I was joking when I told him I'd brought a cat home, but it didn't really matter because she isn't really our pet, she's just [supposed to be] living in the barn and we're feeding her.  We'd talked about getting a barn cat before, so it wasn't completely out of the blue. 

And then, after a few days of Kitty being missing, I was out doing some work in the barn and I heard a meow that wasn't Paley.  I walked around the corner, and (!) there she was!  So I showed Jeff our new cat.  And I fed her.  Paley does not like Kitty.  Kitty is disinterested in Paley.

Temple Pictures

This week my Relief Society (ladies church group) did a "Wonderful Wednesday" activity.  The main project was making temple pictures.  The pictures are beautiful (and popular up here in Utah) but if you just go buy one they usually cost about $200, so although I've wanted one for a while, I haven't bought one.  For the activity they charged us $53, though, and that was totally worth it.

I invited my sister Jessica, and we each did pictures of the temples where we were married.  (Jess did Salt Lake and I did Jordan River.)  It was pretty easy.  Basically, what you do is mount a print onto a board.  Let it dry.  Texture the print.  Let it dry.  Paint your frame.  Let it dry.  Add screws and little metal things to the back of the frame.  Insert the mounted, textured print.  Tighten the screws.  Wait a day and add the bracket thing that lets you hang it.  Then hang it.

Garden

My garden didn't go quite how I planned, mainly because I was unable to get a fence up to protect my garden from goats.  So I never planted my garden.  But, after I abandoned so many healthy plants at my in-laws' house, my father-in-law planted anything that seemed like it might survive.  This resulted in a lot of produce, actually.  We've been picking and eating purple tomatoes when we go over to my in-laws' on game days.  And, I've had a couple of the Rich Sweetness 132 melons.  They're small, but they're pretty delicious.  A couple days ago, my father-in-law tore out all of my garden and harvested what he could.  Frost is coming soon, anyway, and I think he is planning to plant some trees where my garden was growing.  It was nice of him to let my stuff grow at their house.  

Moving

We're only sort of moving.  We've been living in the back portion of our house, and we've had the front part rented out.  The guys living in the front have been there for over two years, but now they're moving.  So we're going to move up to the front!  I think it will probably need new carpet, and a little bit of work done...but we plan to move in the beginning part of November.  I am SO excited to have a kitchen(!) and a bath tub(!) and a bigger office area(!) and a fireplace(!).  Jeff is worried that moving will be a lot of work, and getting organized will take a long time.  It kind of will, but I don't think it will be too bad, because we won't have to pack, or load things up in a truck, or anything like that.  We'll just take things and put them in their new places.  Easiest Move Ever.  Did I mention I'm excited to have a real kitchen?  Because I am.  We finally got an oven back here a few weeks ago, though, and that's already been excellent. 

We're busy and we're happy and these are the things that are going on.

Best Father's Day Ever!

A couple weeks ago I had a really excellent idea. What if I had my primary class (ages 8-9) decorate ties for their fathers? The kids would have a ton of fun decorating ties, the dads would receive a cool gift that they would treasure forever, and I would have the joy and amusement of watching several of the men in our congregation wear ties that my class designed. Win-win-win!

I checked to see if Father's Day was one of my weeks to teach (because I alternate with another teacher) and it was! So I ordered a bunch of white ties online, I bought some fabric markers, and got some cheap gift bags. Today all of my kids were there except one. We had a shorter than average lesson (about Jesus being The Good Shepherd, and what shepherds are, and why Jesus is like our shepherd, and why we should follow his voice because he will lead us) and then I announced our activity. The kids were so excited! I told them they don't get another tie if they mess up, so they each had to draw (on paper) a practice version of what they were going to do. I approved each design, and handed out ties, and let them start coloring.


We ended up with a wide variety of designs. (If the picture is too small, click on it so that you can see it bigger.)


From left to right:
1) Her dad's name spelled out as an acrostic: Excelent. Dad. Wonderful. Awesome. Ridiculous. Dude. There was space left over, so she repeated the whole thing. There was still space left over so she wrote YOUR THE BEST DAD EVER! (Looks great!)
2) Stars all over the top of it, and then she wrote The Best Dad in the world! Then she drew a random shape and colored it at the bottom. (He's going to love it!)
3) He wrote The Best Dad In The world and then drew a big BYU logo and a big Green Bay logo. The bottom of the tie has a whole bunch of BYU and Green Bay logos. (Wow, that looks really good!)
4) A bold zigzag-type pattern in blue, red, and purple. It looks pretty cool because the colors blend together just a little bit. (Nice!)
5) She drew a whole bunch of light green stripes, really close together. Her dad likes stripes, she said. In the middle the tie says Your the Best dad in the world. She kind of ran out of space a little for the end of "world" so it is on the next line. On hers the stripes cover the skinny part of the tie that tucks in back, too. (Good job!)
6) Another striped tie, with #1 Dad in the middle. Her dad likes green. She was kind of worried because the stripes were not all perfectly parallel. I told her it looks really good. It came out great. (Wow!)
7) She made a diamond pattern and then colored in all of the diamonds with the colors all mixed up. (She finished after I took the picture, while I was helping the other kids put theirs in gift bags.) On each of the diamonds she wrote a letter "D". Her dad's initials are C.R. "D" is for "Dad." (I bet your dad is going to really like that. It's so colorful!)

"You guys, your ties all look REALLY GOOD, so you should tell your dads to wear them." (One girl said, "Yeah, they can wear them next week!" "That's a great idea!")

So anyway, it was kind of silly, but I bet their dads will be really surprised. They'll have the perfect tie to wear for every future Father's Day, and hopefully some times in between.

Meeting President Monson

This weekend I had a neat experience. I met President and Sister Monson! I volunteered at the Symphony again, and they were in attendance (for the Bravo Broadway show). Our volunteer coordinator told us that he was there, and that he may come for our intermission reception (which was what I was volunteering at). We expected a lot of people. I made sure to be at the soda table (which I usually am anyway) instead of the wine one. (Because like, who wants to have the one time they see the Prophet to be when they’re serving alcohol?)

Anyway, not very many people came to the reception at all. But President Monson did!

As soon as he came in the door, he came over to the soda table and shook our hands. The other person at the table was an older lady, and she said something cordial (“It’s nice to meet you, President Monson?” “Thank you for coming, President Monson?” Or something like that.) and so did I. I asked if he was enjoying the show and he said “I’ve not heard finer.” I offered him something to drink but he said he didn’t want anything because “a wise man doesn’t drink anything during intermission.” He said he didn’t want to miss any of the songs later.

His wife was in a wheelchair and she came over to get a drink. She seemed like she wasn’t really sure what she wanted, but decided on Coke. A few other people came over to the soda table to chat with President Monson. He told the little group of us that he had especially enjoyed the trolley song. He explained:

“I met my wife on a trolley.

We were seventeen.

Best trolley ride I’ve ever taken.”

It was really cute. He was very sweet with his wife. He wheeled her over to get some hor d’ourves. Another lady seemed really excited to chat with him and kept talking to him about different things. She got her picture with him.

The person from the Board started making his little announcements, thanking the Prophet for bringing his wife on a date (cute!) and mentioning President Monson sitting in the front row tapping his foot.

And I started thinking that maybe I would like a picture with him, too. Because stories about meeting the Prophet are cooler if you have a picture to show. I was wearing a skirt, though, so I had no pockets and my phone was in my bag, which was in the back of the kitchen, in another room. I decided to go for it.

After the little speech, I asked President Monson if I could have a picture with him. He said, “That’s alright.” And it sounded like it meant no, but he’s from a generation where people say what they mean, so he actually meant that it was all right for me to get a picture with him. “Don’t ask security, though, because they’ll tell you no,” he added.

I got the lady who had been so eager to talk with him to take my picture. I started to explain how the camera on my phone works (it’s an iPhone and a lot of people press the button to take you back to the main screen instead of pressing the camera button that shows up on the screen). “I have one. I know how to do it,” she told me, and she took the picture. She said it came out really good.

It didn’t. She took it all blurry. Oh well. At least you can tell that it is me, and that I’m with them, and that President Monson knows he’s in the picture too

My mom and my boss (separately!) mentioned printing the picture and framing it. I hadn’t even thought about it. Because it’s like…blurry. So I don’t know about that. But for sure I’ll be able to tell my kids someday about meeting him. Just like my dad told us the story of meeting Ezra Taft Benson in the rain.

I liked him. I felt like he was a really good man, just from the way that he talked to us and to other people (he randomly went up to one man and showed him his Navy cuff links? Or something. And I don’t know what made him think the guy would be interested, but he was…), and from the way that he was towards his wife. He patted her and touched her, and wheeled her around, and was just really nice. Very pleasant. And I did feel like he actually, really is a prophet. I felt like he could see our hearts, or knew us, or something. I don’t know. Maybe that’s what it feels like to be with people who have spent years representing Christ and showing love to strangers. It was a neat experience, though. And it was cool that he came up to us right away, even though he had no plans to get anything to drink.

I was happy that I wasn’t serving wine. He didn’t go over to them.

The story I mentioned recently, about being followed.

I found my e-mail that I sent my family on the day that the guy followed us. 

This story was way better than I remembered!

I'm just going to share the one paragraph from my letter.  It looks like it was from 27 April, 2005.  

"I've made a list this week, and I have some good things to tell you about. There is a man sitting about a foot and a half away from me looking at the screen of the computer and he's been following us around this morning. AUGH. I met him on the bus or something and gave him a pass along card (one of the ones with church info, but not our phone number) because he seemed interested. Yeah, so since then he came to english class, and I think he's tried to come to church a couple times since then (one week we had district conf. and it was at a different place). But we saw him at english class last night, and then he saw us from the bus when we were on our way to do grocery shopping. Got off the bus and met up with us and said hi when we were in line at the grocery store. Well, of course we say hi. And he keeps following us after that. We were going to go home but decided to go to do e-mail directly instead. (sounded safer) And as we're walking he's asking about soccer (we all go play soccer on Saturday mornings), and we told him about that, but he also wants to go with us and play the game that has the little ball and you hit it with the paddles that has the same name in Italian as in English and he would recognize if I typed it, and the other game with all the balls with numbers on them and a green table, and he wanted us to go tonight. And we said no. And so what about tomorrow? No. Maybe we could do something as a district. And he said he didn't care if they came. And he asks if we're hungry and I said no, already ate (true anyway), and thirsty (no), because he was willing to pay. So we get to e-mail, and we figure hopefully he'll go...but he offered to pay for e-mail (no.) and then left for half an hour. And now he's back (augh!). SO I don't know how we'll get home without him seeing where we live. The Anziani invited us to do something with them, so we may do that. With our groceries though? I don't know how it'll work. The interesting problems that sister missionaries have...."

Isn't that a terrific story?  And that's just the first part.  The other part I mentioned before (he ended up following us downtown).

The Old Testament

I went to an Institute class this morning that was fantastic. It's a class on the second half of the Old Testament, which is perfect for me, because I'm to Proverbs and one of my 2009 goals is to finish the Old Testament. The class started at 8:35 am (and like seriously, the Old Testament), so I knew it would be a small class, except that, oh wait, it was actually two classrooms big. There were a bunch of people! And I'm sure some people are ambitious and go to the first class and stop coming partway through the semester, but still!

Turns out, it's basically because the teacher is amazing.

He was telling us, you go to the Old Testament for a first person account of the Atonement. He said that next to the book of Luke, the Old Testament is the best place to go to get to know Christ. Mostly the second half of Isaiah, and the stuff David wrote. I thought this was kind of interesting, because I always just sort of assumed that the Book of Mormon would be the second best. Or like, Matthew would be, or something. But as we were talking about it, I could see what he meant.

We mostly talked about a few Psalms today. Psalms are not just a poetic part of the scriptures; they're basically the hymnbook of their world back then. It was the same as it is for us. When we're going through hard times, sometimes we sing hymns. The LDS pioneers sometimes sang "Come, Come Ye Saints" when things were rough. Just as we draw on hymns in times of trial, Christ quoted Psalm 22; "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me,". But he wasn't just saying that line; he was quoting the first line of this song. And people back then would have known that he was quoting it.

So to know better how Christ was feeling, we can read the rest of the psalm. Instead of us looking up at the cross, like we are in the accounts in the gospels, reading this takes us right up onto the cross with him, because it's in first person.

7 All they that see me laugh me to scorn : they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying,

8 He trusted on the Lord that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him.

(Shoot out the lip = stick out their tongues. They're mocking him. Which, we knew.)

He told us the most poignant account of the crucifixion is Psalm 22. It's Messianic literature.

With Messianic literature, there are two ways of looking at it:

1. The writer saw Christ and was writing about it. (This is more true of Isaiah.)

2. David had experiences, and he had a deep heart and could express some of the deepest feelings of our hearts. (He compared this to Shakespeare, who can write from the perspective of Juliet, who is a teenager in love, and also from the perspective of King Lear, who is like, a bitter old man. And he writes the depth of emotions that all different kinds of people experience so well that his stuff stays around. Not very many people can express deep emotions so well, but Shakespeare was one who could, and so was David.) And David's writing is Messianic because Christ drew upon his words and said that's exactly how he felt.

So with Messianic literature it's partially people writing about Christ, and partially people expressing deep emotions so well that Christ quotes it later.

16 For dogs have compassed me: the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me: they pierced my hands and my feet.

17 I may tell all my bones: they look and stare upon me.

18 They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture.

These things are literal, and then verse 19:

19 But be not thou far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me.

They can do all these things to me, but I can handle all that; but Lord, don't you leave me. These verses give us perspective into how Christ was feeling during the Atonement.

He said a bunch of other stuff, and gave other examples, but it's late and I'm tired, so I'll just share a couple more things from my notes.

Psalm 69.

9 For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me.

20 Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.

21 They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.

Again, we're on the cross with Him, looking down, instead of being with the apostles, looking up.

He said we sometimes talk about "the cup of trembling" or the "bitter cup" when we're talking about the Atonement, and he said that the two go together. When we drink vinegar, we don't just say "ew", and he made a face as though he'd tasted something bitter, and when people taste bitter things, their faces pucker and crinkle up--bitterness causes trembling. (He told us, "You go home tonight and drink a cup of vinegar and you'll understand the image very well.")

And then just one last thing he talked about; Psalm 107. He said sometimes Christ deliberately did things to fulfil prophecy. He would specifically duplicate the miracles of other prophets.

That was the way they did things back then. I wish I remember all of the examples he gave, but basically, like Moses parts the Sea, so other prophets parted other things. And that repetition happened a lot. It was part of assuming the mantle of a prophet. Or something like that.

And back in the day, because they did that, you couldn't say "Oh, I believe Abraham was a prophet, and Moses was, and I believe in Elijah, but I don't know about this Elisha..." because that would be gross hypocracy.

In Psalm 107, he showed us this:

23 They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;

24 These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.

25 For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.

26 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.

27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man and are at their wits’ end.

28 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.

29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.

(He told us that the phrase "at their wits' end" came from that verse of the scriptures.)

I asked him if the apostles would have recognized that from the psalm when he calmed the storm. He told me they would have. He said they knew the Psalms really well, just like we would recognize stories from the Book of Mormon if we heard them.

Anyhow, it was a really good class. I'm looking forward to the rest of the semester. I was telling my coworkers about it today, and my boss asked who was teaching it. I looked it up, and I told her. It's S. Michael Wilcox. I thought the name had sounded kinda familiar, but she knew who he was. Apparently he's also an author. He's written a bunch of books I've heard of. Deseret Book has like 15 of his books listed. Hm. Neat.

How to Study the Scriptures

This is a handout that we got in my Institute class yesterday. (It's Brother Brown's New Testament class at the U of U Institute of Religion.) His favorite ones have the numbers in bold. He said "If something else works for you, keep doing it and add it to the list. If it works, it's good."

HOW TO STUDY THE SCRIPTURES

1. Pray and ask for specific spiritual guidance.

2. Listen and be sensitive to spiritual promptings.

3. Limit the scripture block to just a few verses and don't be afraid to go slowly.

4. Have a good attitude. Approach the scripture block as if there was a special message from the Lord just for you and then study and ponder to find it.

5. Use the new LDS version of the scriptures and the study helps. [Note for readers who are not LDS: we use the King James Version of the Bible; we just have footnotes and a topical guide and index, etc.]

6. RSVP - Especially visualize. Let the words paint pictures and images in your mind. [ RSVP = Read, Study, Visualize, and Ponder]

7. Focus on: Words - look them up and read all definitions for context.
Phrases - ponder and try to understand meanings.
Lists - look for and number the lists you find.

8. Ask questions and study to find answers (who, what, how, why, when, and where).

9. Focus on principles and doctrines; if/then relationships.

10. Look for symbols and ponder the characteristics of the symbols used.

11. Thus/therefore relationships; connecting words.

12. Look for Christ in everything you read.

13. Use other scripture sources and the teachings of the living prophets to clarify.

14. Try to study at the same time and in the same place each day. Develop a habit of scripture study.

15. Look for themes and story lines. Note protagonists and antagonists and watch for comparisons.

16. Put yourself in the scripture and ask questions like: How would I feel? What would I do? etc.

17. Read out loud occasionally and write down what you discover.

18. Share what you discover. Mark and annotate your scriptures.

19. Study cultural applications.

20. Ponder and meditate about what you've read -- this is when the Spirit will guide you.

YSA Summit 5 - Deciding to Decide 4/4

Decision Quotes

We do not always receive inspiration or revelation when we request it. Sometimes we are delayed in receiving revelation, and sometimes we are left to our own judgment and understanding based on study and reason. We cannot force spiritual things. It must be so. Our life’s purpose to obtain experience and to develop faith would be frustrated if our Heavenly Father enlightened us immediately on every question or directed us in every act. We must reach conclusions and make decisions and experience the consequences in order to develop self-reliance and faith. Even in decisions we think very important, we sometimes receive no answers to our prayers. This does not mean our prayers have not been heard. It only means we have prayed about a decision that, for one cause or another, we should make without guidance by revelation. – Dallin Oaks, The Lord’s Way, 1991, pp. 36-38.

The second decision for us to consider is this: Whom shall I marry? Now we’re getting close to that which is in your mind and heart. It is essential that you become well acquainted with the person whom you plan to marry, that you can make certain that you are looking down the same pathway, with the same objectives in mind. It is ever so significant that you do this. I should like to dispel one rumor that is very hard to put to rest. I know of no mission president in all the world who has ever told a missionary that he had the responsibility to marry within six months after his mission. I think that rumor was commenced by a returned missionary. In making the momentous decision concerning whom you will marry—and in making other decisions throughout your life—you have a formula, a guide to assist you. It is found in the ninth section of the Doctrine and Covenants, verses 8-9:

“You must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you hall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought.”

That counsel from the ninth section of the Doctrine and Covenants has guided me, and it will guide you. – Thomas Monson

Now may I move to the last decision: What will be my life’s work? I have counseled many returning missionaries who have asked this question. I interviewed seventeen hundred missionaries one year all over the world. My advice to them, and to each one of you young people here this evening and elsewhere throughout the world, is that you should study and prepare for your life’s work in a field that you enjoy, because you are going to spend a good share of your life in that field. It should be one which will challenge your intellect and which will make maximum utilization of your talents and your capabilities. Finally, it should be a field that will supply sufficient remuneration to provide adequately for your companion and your children. Now that’s a big order. But I bear testimony that these criteria are very important in choosing your life’s work. – Thomas Monson

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. - Speech given by Winston Churchill at the Lord Mayor’s Luncheon, Mansion House, London, November 10, 1942 (middle of WWII)

The End.

P.S. I know my fonts and spacing and stuff do crazy things sometimes when I write stuff in Word and then copy paste it into here. It doesn't give me the option to change the font, so I don't know what's up. Oh well.

YSA Summit 4 - Deciding to Decide 3/4

I think our speaker had served as a mission president. He had one of his elders come to him, who had joined the Marines after his mission. The guy said that he could tell in his first week that being in the Marines would be a lot different than the past two years he had spent as a missionary, and he was worried about that. So, the workshop speaker told us what he told the guy. It comes down to 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. He told him, in the first 3 hours, live your values without bragging about it. In the first 3 days, be quiet and dignified, and read your scriptures at night, but you don’t have to announce it to everyone or make a big deal about it. In the first 3 weeks, attend church on the Sabbath, and continue living what you believe. And after 3 months, because of the decisions that you’ve been making, people who don’t believe the same as you will support you in making the right decisions. He said that if we break it down into 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months that we will gain the support of other people around us.

After we finished talking about the 3s, he showed us our application exercise, which we were to use to apply the decision principles. I recreated it from my handout. Hope you have good eyesight.


Beneath it there's the question:
What is something I can do in the next 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months?

YSA Summit 3 - Deciding to Decide 2/4

How can I make better decisions?

Decision Principles

1. Answer: what do I want? If we don’t know “what is wanted” (which is the critical question), the Lord doesn’t know how to interact with us. Will the Lord support our righteous desires? Yes. And how do we determine what we want? By answering two questions: What is easy, energizing, and enjoyable for me? And, “What if I were guaranteed success? Then what would I want?”

2. Get real. Our aspirations should be within the limits of our resources. Here he gave an example of how he wanted to be a pro basketball player, and tried playing for his school but quickly learned that he was just too short and not any good at basketball. (It’s wonderful to have aspirations, but it’s dangerous to have aspirations that exceed our capabilities.) How do we get real? Try it. If it doesn’t work, let it go. If you have conflicting goals, put yourself in a position to do both. (Someone asked about wanting to be a mother, or if she didn’t get married, she wanted to be a doctor.) We need to make sure that our aspirations are real, or we will just face repeated disappointment.

3. Chunk. Turn a long term aspiration into today’s goal. Make choices that are within your control. (On some other tangent, he said everything has a price. Luke – “Before you build a tower count the cost.”) There are four steps to this. 1. Think big. 2. Test small. (You want to be a doctor, take a Bio class.) 3. Fail fast. (It’s okay to fail. Rejoice in rejection because you were doing the right thing.) His example for this was, he briefly thought he wanted to be an accountant, but he took an accounting class and learned that he hated accounting. And that was fine! Because he realized it wasn’t the right thing and moved on. 4. Learn always.

4. Let go and begin anew. (Identify that I can be evolved.) When you let go and begin anew, you need to 1. Disidentify. The identity you HAD is not the identity you WILL have. 2. Disengage. Don’t call the same people. 3. Accept that you’re disoriented. 4. Accept that you may be a little disenchanted. There are two things that you take from any transition: 1. Knowledge from our experience, and 2. Relationships. We should nurture good relationships.

5. Prioritize. NOT everything worth doing is worth doing well. There have been whole studies about this, and it’s called satisfice. Some things are so important to do that they’re worth doing poorly. There are a lot of things that are worth doing well. There are a lot of things that aren’t. Do them anyway. (He told us a story of when he was getting his….doctorate? Masters? I don’t remember. But he told us things were different back then. He said he went to his dean because he was going to have to take some class that had absolutely nothing to do with what he was actually studying. He told his dean he didn’t want to take it. His dean said, “Well, you have to. It’s required.” And he asked, “Do I have to pass it?” And the dean said nobody had ever asked him that! And so that meant no, and he went to the first day of the class and told the teacher that he had nothing against him (he didn’t even know him), but that he would not be attending any more classes, and that he planned to fail the class. He got 3 F’s as part of the degree, and graduated with the lowest GPA of anyone doing his program, with like a 3.18 or something. He said though, he’s as proud of those 3 F’s as he is as he is of all of his A’s. Because those 3 F’s meant that he prioritized correctly; in the same time he also published a book and wrote articles, etc, which was far more valuable and relevant to him than classes that someone had arbitrarily decided that he should take.) Learn the things that are important.

6. Reflect, repent, and renew. A big predictor of the success of a leader – is whether or not they can LEARN (their “learning agility”). We have weaknesses that we need to learn from and sins that we need to repent of. Sometimes we mix these up.

7. Make mature choices. (Your decisions will not always be right or wrong; have them be the best that you can do.) It’s not either/or. Almost every choice has trade offs. What am I willing to trade? When we goof, begin anew. How do we make mature choices? Envision. Anticipate. Know your strengths (the things that are easy, energizing, and enjoyable for you). Also, enjoy the process. (Don’t play the “if only” game. Because when we play the “if only” game, we never win.)

8. Seek spiritual guidance. Will the Lord bless us as we make decisions? Yes. We feel the Spirit in different ways. He wanted us to list at least eight, and the ones our group came up with were: - through the scriptures, - prayer, - attending church, - attending the temple, - through service, - being still (anywhere) (If you’re ever on an airplane and you don’t want the people next to you to talk to you, he said, take out your Book of Mormon or Bible and start reading. That always works. Or if it doesn’t, start humming as you’re reading. Then they never bother you. He flies at least six times per week to teach at the University of Michigan.), – music, - bearing testimony (sometimes bearing testimony by deed), - teaching, – writing/journaling, - spending time with friends/family. Whatever language of the Spirit, let him participate in your decision making. God will answer our prayers in a way that we understand.

YSA Summit 2 - Deciding to decide 1/4

The second workshop I attended was called "Deciding to decide…How to make choices today that will guide us tomorrow". It was by Dave Ulrich (duo@umich.edu) – He teaches at the University of Michigan business school and does consulting for businesses to like, help them optimize stuff and make more money.

This is the beginning part of his handout, with some of his comments added.

As a result of this workshop, you should be more able to:
- Recognize your decision predisposition or style of decision making.
- Understand and appreciate principles of decision making to make better decisions.
- Apply those principles to specific decisions you are likely to make.

Personal insight:
Please answer these questions about yourself as honestly as you can (circle a or b on each of the 10, then add up your A’s and B’s).

1. Is it your way to
a. make up your mind quickly b. pick and choose at some length
2. Are you more satisfied having
a. a finished product b. work in progress
3. Do you more often prefer
a. final, unalterable statements b. tentative, preliminary statements
4. Are you comfortable
a. after a decision b. before a decision
5. In most situations are you more
a. deliberate than spontaneous b. spontaneous than deliberate
6. Do you prefer to work
a. to deadlines b. just whenever
7. Are you inclined to be more
a. hurried than leisurely b. leisurely than hurried
8. Would you say you are more
a. serious and determined b. easygoing
9. Is it preferable mostly to
a. make sure that things are arranged b. just let things happen naturally
10. Are you more
a. routinized than whimsical b. whimsical than routinized
A:___ B:___ = 10

Personal style of decision making
As we make decisions, our predispositions come out and we tend to over and under react. We need to recognize our predispositions and moderate them. If we have more A’s (like 7 or 8 or more or something), then that’s a high “J”(judging) predisposition, which means we go too quickly in decision making. If we have more B’s, then that’s a high “P” (perceiving) predisposition, which means we’re going too slow, or can’t decide. Which ever one you are, fight it.

YSA Summit 1 - 17 Secrets to Male and Female Psychology

[I am writing a series of posts about a YSA Conference that I attended this weekend, called The Summit. It's going to be good. Look forward to other highlights like: "How can I make better decisions?" and photographs of actual speed dating profiles.]

This is the handout that we received in my fourth workshop. The class was called “17 Secrets to Male & Female Psychology” (by Alisa Goodwin Snell). It was scheduled for one of the small classrooms, and the room filled, and the whole hallway was still packed with people who wanted to attend. They switched the room to a gym, which also filled up. Basically, she just went over the handout. The girls agreed with all of the stuff on the girl list, and the guys agreed with all of the stuff on the guy list. Everyone kind of shared examples. It was interesting.

17 secrets to the male psychology

1. Men seek out relationships that make them feel trusted and respected.

2. Men love through sacrifice.

3. Good men are largely logical about their relationships and commitment. Thus they do not commit easily to things they have not invested in over a period of time.

4. Men are driven to succeed, face challenges, compete, and conquer.

5. Men like women who like themselves.

6. Men love to be heroes.

7. Men like being appreciated.

8. Men like femininity.

9. Men like women who have opinions and assert their needs.

10. Good men pursue women who are approachable and appear to be available.

11. Good men want sex with a woman who feels good about having sex with them and will wait until marriage.

12. Men need to be needed.

13. Men are repelled by criticism, nagging, and whining.

14. A man experiences anxiety in every conversation a woman initiates until she tells him what she wants him to do.

15. Men bond through doing activities and talking about things more than they do through talking about people, problems, feelings, or ideas.

16. Good men adore women who give them love, attention, and affection.

17. Good men are often willing to talk openly and honestly when they feel it will help them or another person to do so.

17 secrets to the female psychology

1. Women thrive when they feel safe and secure.

2. Women love through sacrifice. However, women often love and sacrifice in ways that are not good for the male psychology. Thus, a woman needs a man to communicate about his needs. Not only will a woman love him for communicating respectfully with her, but the more she sacrifices to meet his needs, the more deeply her love will grow.

3. Women read into men’s behaviors, get excited, assume commitment, and then get hurt when he pulls away due to the added pressure.

4. Women are critical of their bodies and fear competition from other women.

5. Women are attracted to strength and confidence.

6. Women are turned off by men who are too nice.

7. Women often fall in love with friends.

8. Women like to be pursued and to feel wanted.

9. Women enjoy touch, kissing, and affection but feel vulnerable and prone to shame after sexual contact.

10. Women want men who hold off sexually – it makes a woman feel respected and wanted rather than feeling like an object.

11. Women want immediate relationships but trust and value slow progressing relationships.

12. Women long to feel adored.

13. Women are repelled by moping, brooding, and the silent treatment.

14. Women worry. They need to know they are not alone in dealing with the problems of the relationship.

15. Women who don’t trust and respect their men fall out of love, especially if there is no communication.

16. Women like gifts, surprises, reasonable spontaneity, and excitement. The extra effort makes them feel special.

17. Women would rather have open and honest communication about misdeeds than to be protected from the truth.

Snell, Alisa Goodwin, L.M.F.T. (2008). Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man. Bonneville Books, Springville, UT.

Askalisa.org, Alisa Goodwin Snell, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, phone: (801) 447-6000 or e-mail: alisa@askalisa.org