Pregnancy Jokes

Jeff and I have two favorite pregnancy-related jokes.

Our First Joke

The first joke started back when we were trying to conceive.  When you're trying to conceive, you're supposed to act like you're pregnant, because maybe you already are!  Obviously there's some sense to not doing risky things when you could be pregnant, but acting like maybe I'm pregnant felt pretty ridiculous.  (And, then, it was just kind of disappointing when I wasn't pregnant the first month.)

Anyhow, Jeff really wanted me to be careful, though, because mistakes in very early pregnancy can have serious consequences.  Fair enough.

So one time I had a sore throat.  I searched online for "sore throat pregnancy" (or something like that) so that I could find a safe method for treating a sore throat.  To my surprise, the top results were pages answering the question of whether a sore throat is a very early pregnancy symptom.  (It could be!  The charts show that women who turned out to be pregnant had a slightly higher incidence of sore throats...)

It all reminded me of when one of my friends in high school thought everything a particular boy did was related to her: "Oh, he looks sad, maybe he's thinking about how I didn't call this Saturday?"  Uh, no.  Maybe he's realizing he has a test next period.  (He wasn't interested in her at all, so it was kind of silly for her to act like everything he did had to do with her.)

So, Jeff and I had a good laugh about people seriously wondering if they're pregnant once they notice a sore throat.

After that, any time either of us had a symptom, we diagnosed it as an early pregnancy symptom.

"Oh, your nose is stuffy?  You must be pregnant!"  Anything!  Symptoms that seemed especially unrelated to pregnancy became our best indicators.  That was our favorite joke while we were trying to conceive.

Our Second Joke

So, I've had morning sickness for...oh, about 6 weeks now?   I don't remember how this one started, but at some point I started telling Jeff,  "You make me sick!"  I say it in a really irritated voice, as if I find him absolutely disgusting.  But actually, he got me pregnant, so he did make me sick.  So we both laugh about that, because I'm being literal about a statement that is typically used figuratively.  Funny!

A BONUS Joke

So, recently I went shopping and I came back with a lot of random stuff.

Me:  I bought a lot of random stuff.  Like, I got a pineapple.  This is what happens when I have weird tastes and I go to the grocery store:  I'm so used to everything sounding bad that I buy everything that has appeal to me and I get a lot of weird stuff.

Jeff: Like oranges?

Me: Uh huh.  Well, not oranges, but mandarin oranges.  But not in a can this time.

Jeff:  They have a peel.

Me: Hahaha!  Good one.